Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
