shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
