did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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