he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
