its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
