i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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