The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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