I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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