i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
