i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
