Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
