I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
