I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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