So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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