the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
