dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You made out with two different species that night
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize