Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You can't just leave with hair like that
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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