biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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