i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
