**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I met the friendliest cop last night
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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