I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
