My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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