Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
