What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
