I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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