what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize