i wish my penis had a tongue
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
