Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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