Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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