Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
how drunk are you?
Several
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
