i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
