I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
