is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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