I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
