Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
