I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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