I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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