the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
