no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
