my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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