if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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