one might say we're banned from that church
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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