every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
