remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
