Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
