To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
