Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize