her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just gargled with NyQuil
we're so committed to being not committed
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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