Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
