Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
