Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
