Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
