you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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