I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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