my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
