She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
