I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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