just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
