you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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