Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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