i just wanna soil my oats bro
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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