didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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