YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
