my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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