ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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